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Ketchupgate!

We arrived at Luang Prabangs’ bijou airport more than prepared,  thanks to a substantial supply of ‘Beerlao’, to test Lao Airs’ dodgy safety record. Additionally, we came armed with our own supply of elastic bands should the aircraft need any extra assistance getting airborne! Andrew steadied himself with a last minute packet of cigarettes in the thoughtfully provided smoking ”room’ outside on the roof. What consideration. Surely all velodromes  could provide a designated area where nicotine addicts can calm themselves by killing themselves slowly. Not only is it beneficial to a […]

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Au Revoir Luang Prabang x

Au revoir Luang Prabang! Goodbye Luang Prabang, or as Andrew insists on calling it, ‘Prang Labang’! I’m still clinging on to the possibility that he’s doing it for comic effect, but after a week here, the joke is starting to wear as thin as a stale ‘After Eight’ mint! We shall miss this little ‘town’. Some who visit loathe the mix of Mekong and marketing, but we’ve seen much, much  worse. We’ve had our moments but most of them have been great ones. The French influence has been ‘merveilluex’! Even if the French here, ‘under the influence’, have not! There I go again, xenophobia kicking in like a ‘Rampant Rabbit’! (I’m told they’re powerful). Don’t worry I would never name and shame. Andrew tells me every time I blog rudely about a particular nation we lose ‘likes’ on our Facebook page. Oh well, C’est la vie! Yet, it continues to surprise me, that travel does not seem to broaden everyone’s mind – sometimes, only their ‘Tete’ – Excuse-moi – I mean, their head! And so with a heavy heart and a big welcome to our ‘Twitter’ followers ( who have just joined us – as The BBC so often likes to say), we leave these enchanting ‘environs’ and head South! We have an aeroplane to catch tomorrow that resembles one of those polystyrene gliders you assembled when you were a kid. It appears to require only an elastic band and […]

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A Midnight Luang Pra- BANG!

I awoke  to screaming! It was the middle of the night and Andrew blithely continued to snore alongside – like a decrepit tugboat. Another shriek and then, ‘Help, Help.’ I sat up and started to consider being a hero. It  was then I heard more voices below, a man and a woman. ‘Are you OK?’ The female voice asked. ‘Yeah, yeah – just, he got my bag,’ another woman blustered – obviously the screamer. I then realised we were mid-robbery – well post-robbery actually –  as I later discovered the […]

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4.30am – Our Call To Alms

4.30 am – A Call To Alms! We’d both heard stories of the saffron- shrouded Buddhist monks who walk the streets of Luang Prabang at dawn. Or rather, Andrew had heard them from me. So when a chilly, dark 4.30am came ‘a calling, we both rose – before the Lark had even considered warming up her tonsils! We wrapped ourselves like Sherpas and hit the black deserted streets in search of this sacred, spiritual practice. The little town resembled a cemetery ground, the odd Chinese lantern thankfully lighting our way. Somnolent was not the word. We strolled down the ‘high street’ alone, growing colder and more concerned that absolutely no preparations for the event had even begun. ‘Are you sure they do it every bloody morning?’ Andrew rasped, fag in hand. ‘Yes’ I hissed back. We were certainly in need of The Buddha. We then stumbled across a temple complex – that was apparently empty. Golden, glistening palaces, all sympathetically floodlit, for no-one apparently, but us. We marvelled at these stunningly foreign creations, alone, for some minutes.  Then we noticed we had company. A young, berobed, monk was standing in front of one of the gilded structures and raising both arms. In supplication I romantically assumed. As we got closer I realised this kid had his mobile phone and was using it to get a few snaps of his digs before the ceremony. My pretentious deep moment was somewhat punctured. […]

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The Birds!

What a day this has been – what a great mood we’re in – why, it’s almost like being in Laos’! What a country! Rarely, nowadays, do we find an authenticity and kindness that is beyond blogs! This place is charming. We had croissant this morning the French colonial hangover is ever present. Comme fantastique! AND, after a herbal tea provided by our host, Pan, I realise what puts the bang into ‘Luang Prabang’! Our day was like something from a Hitchcock movie! I was, of course, Tippi Hendren, and Andrew, no help at all! Birds, birds, nothing but birds.  Parakeets and  Peregrine and Minor Bird and Cockatoo! Fried! No judgement – I have no idea what the local diet consists of, but, suffice to say, Hilda Ogdan’s ‘Murial Wall’ would not have been safe! A bird in the hand is worth two in the bush, I believe that’s the saying. As we rounded down a small side street we we’re suddenly in a market akin to a slaughter house – there were, quite obviously, no birds left in the bush! Decapitation at every turn! Eyes front, I said to myself but then came face to face with two half dead chickens – I’m still convinced that one of them looked at me pleadingly on it’s way to the block.  It was horrifying – old ‘Hitch’ would have been proud. As we exited this scene of avian horror we had both […]

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Rolling Down The River!

At 8 AM we boarded our boat – (the H.M.S number 13!), with just a little wariness and and more than a few tots of Thai Rum to hand. We were going to sea after all – well, to river. Both Andrew and I looked and felt dreadful. But, we were looking for adventure and so it came and ‘Thai-Boxed’ us right in the proverbial ‘eek’. We met some wonderful people on the jetty, but were slightly reticent to engage as we knew we would be sharing the next ten hours with them on a barge that looked as if she wouldn’t be comfortable on The Thames, let alone the mighty Mekong. The ‘Marchioness’ came to mind but I swiftly exorcised that thought and certainly didn’t share it with ‘His Highness’, who is not exactly Lord Nelson when it comes to messing about on the water! I was seated next to a wonderfully jolly South Korean named ‘Muang’ and as I took my seat he rubbed my knee and whispered that all his Western dreams had come ‘tlue’! No bullshit! I pointed out my partner to him, on the pier, still smoking, at which point he lost complete interest in my thigh and frothed at the mouth, rabid, for what he called ‘Superman’! He obviously doesn’t know Andrew well! When Andrew did board and I politely introduced him to Muang, my ‘better half’ immediately decided to bring up North Korea […]

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A Couple Of Snakebites And The Red Cross!

We had contemplated staying on an extra night at our little guest house on the Thai side of the mighty Mekong but that was before we realised we were living next to ‘Miss Ebola 2015’. A young Swiss couple with their young child were in number 11 – we were in number 10 – with nothing between us but a cardboard wall even ‘Ikea’ would have rejected. This Alpine clan were suffering!  Coughing, spluttering, sneezing, wheezing and spitting! We named them ‘The Swiss Family Gobinson’! At bedtime, as I was reading, Andrew fell asleep within three seconds (a talent he possesses that I greatly envy), he than began to snore. Like a wart-hog! I attempted to silence him with a couple of gentle punches but to no avail. I then heard a gigantic sneezing fit coming through the flimsy divide. Snort! Sneeze! Wheeze! Cough! Snort! I then heard Ms Swiss Gobinson begin to imitate Andrew’s snoring! At which moment her partner began to chastise her – he told her that she was making enough noise for the whole of Zurich! (My rudimentary German comes in handy occasionally). At this point, the baby awoke and began to scream in a dreadfully effective Teutonic manner – I thought, between all of them, they would wake the entire guest-house. Luckily, I had taken a herbal sleep remedy given to me by our lovely friend Patrizia, and I slipped into a welcome state of […]

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