THE LOLA BOYS ABROAD !
The trails and tribulations of a dodgy duo!
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Category: The Lola Boys Blog
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Day 3. St Maarten. It was the 29th of January. The day of Paul’s sister Tina’s birth. She was forty-something and the boat docked on the Dutch side of the beautiful island of St. Maarten. The family made their way to ‘The Peninsula’ restaurant in the bowels of the ship for a birthday breakfast. It…
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When Tina was just twenty-one, she had left chilly Blighty to begin her career as an artist on the stunning island of Antigua. She had stayed for more than a year on the island turning tricks at a local pottery as many a Caribbean boy attempted to turn tricks on her. As Linda’s crew hit the…
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Andrew woke before the rest of the family and made his way towards the gym via the smoking deck and the coffee machine. By the time the rest of the gang met up with him he was higher than Daniella Westbrook on a night in! The rest of them were lagging behind somewhat – Paul…
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At last Paul and Andrew made it to the beach and the sun had finally made a visit to the milliners. The island on which they found themselves was as splendidly underdeveloped as Paul’s suntan. He now looked like the proverbial milk bottle – and dairy was quite unfashionable in Thailand. Not amongst the Thais…
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Paul said goodbye to Laos’s deliciously debauched capital of Vientiane, and headed back to Thailand for some debauchery of his own. He and Andrew were heading to a small lesser known island on the border with Burma, hoping that, finally The Indian Ocean would provide them with some sunshine. They had so far seen precious…
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The five-hour ride through Laos was striking, but as the mini-van juddered and bounced along some of the worst roads he had ever ridden, Paul arrived in Vang Vien stricken! Admittedly, there had been a rest stop on route, when Andrew had smoked eight cigarettes and Paul had emitted eight pints of something brown from…
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Paul was out of cigarette papers and so lazily tore a couple of the dryer pages from ‘The Lonely Planet’ – they weren’t hard to find! He rolled a herbal cigar and lay back in the boys’ shabby bedroom . A wonderfully tawdry chamber. Lime green cornicing skirted the ceiling and faded lemon plaster soured the…
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The ‘ Bangkok Express’ trundled northwards as Paul expressed himself onto the tracks, from the cramped and steamy ‘Western’ lavatory in coach ‘D’. He knew that the high-octane lunch with which he’d fuelled himself prior to boarding had probably not been the wisest of culinary choices. Especially as he hadn’t visited the little boys ‘…
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One of Paul’s favourite films had always been ‘Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf’, starring the inimitable Elizabeth Taylor and her then husband Richard Burton. Paul had no idea that years after seeing that masterpiece he and his husband would be giving a frighteningly similar ‘tour de force’ on a shabby Bangkok rooftop at midnight.…
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After a particularly harrowing ‘long-maul’ flight on ‘Swiss Air’ via Zurich, Paul arrived in Bangkok wanting to burn every shitty Cuckoo Clock in the world. Slit cute little ‘Heidi’s’ throat, using a Swiss Army Knife of course, and then kick her into a boiling pot of Fondue.
THE LOLA BOYS ABROAD ! 