The five-hour ride through Laos was striking, but as the mini-van juddered and bounced along some of the worst roads he had ever ridden, Paul arrived in Vang Vien stricken! Admittedly, there had been a rest stop on route, when Andrew had smoked eight cigarettes and Paul had emitted eight pints of something brown from his gullet. He thought he had done rather well, as he had managed to hold back the vomit for at least an hour and a half on the bus, no mean feat, considering as there […]
Paul was out of cigarette papers and so lazily tore a couple of the dryer pages from ‘The Lonely Planet’ – they weren’t hard to find! He rolled a herbal cigar and lay back in the boys’ shabby bedroom . A wonderfully tawdry chamber. Lime green cornicing skirted the ceiling and faded lemon plaster soured the walls. A mouldy wash basin and a pea-green en-suite one wished wasn’t there completed the design. T’was full of Indochine class and Laotian filth! He and Andrew loved it. So much so that the UNESCO World Heritage […]
The ‘ Bangkok Express’ trundled northwards as Paul expressed himself onto the tracks, from the cramped and steamy ‘Western’ lavatory in coach ‘D’. He knew that the high-octane lunch with which he’d fuelled himself prior to boarding had probably not been the wisest of culinary choices. Especially as he hadn’t visited the little boys ‘ room for days. He knew he shouldn’t have laughed at the sounds Andrew had made earlier in their trip, when his digestive system had been going down the pan. For Karma had struck and now […]
One of Paul’s favourite films had always been ‘Who’s Afraid Of Virginia Woolf’, starring the inimitable Elizabeth Taylor and her then husband Richard Burton. Paul had no idea that years after seeing that masterpiece he and his husband would be giving a frighteningly similar ‘tour de force’ on a shabby Bangkok rooftop at midnight. Unfortunately there were no ‘Oscars’ awarded for this performance. Which was probably quite a good thing, as Paul had held one once, and knew the things to be rather heavy. It could easily have been […]
After a particularly harrowing ‘long-maul’ flight on ‘Swiss Air’ via Zurich, Paul arrived in Bangkok wanting to burn every shitty Cuckoo Clock in the world. Slit cute little ‘Heidi’s’ throat, using a Swiss Army Knife of course, and then kick her into a boiling pot of Fondue.
When Paul knew of ‘The Lola Boys’ Summer Season Andrew had carefully thrown together, he was so severely shocked he went blonde overnight! Work! Surely not! He realised he must have habituated to the vagabond lifestyle they had both adopted intermittently for the past few years. He and his partner split their time between continents and condiments. Straining their palates and patience adventuring in Southern Europe and South East Asia. Now, the very thought of staying put for even a relatively short period, appalled Paul. He still dreamt of […]
Paul woke in paradise at 1.30am, his entire body stinging from the bites of a tropical squadron of insects. The little buggers were buzzing around him like miniature Messerschmitt, each keen to land and pick up their bloody payload, punctually puncturing him every seven seconds, or so it seemed! Added to the critters fighting trench war fare amid the folds of the ancient mattress, Paul wanted to commit insecticide, but had neglected to pack any! It was interminable. There was a mosquito net but it resembled a moth-eaten piece of […]