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Steady On Mr Editor !

Andrew and I have never been the type of couple to hold hands in public, preferring instead to showcase our relationship in a lewd, camp, musical cabaret whenever we are paid to do so ! We wear our hearts on our mics rather than our sleeves. However, were we able to complete a pert pike into a very tight tuck and still come up for air, we would doubtless have behaved just as Britain’s young Olympic diving champions did this week. Criticised by a lurid British tabloid for not showing […]

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Smokin’

Paul had never had any confidence in his partner’s ability to kick the dreaded weed.  Andrew had been an ardent fan of Sir Walter Raleigh’s ruin long before they had even met.  By the time he and Paul had ‘shared digs’ whilst on an early theatrical tour, Andrew had developed a habit akin to the late Deirdre Barlow. Paul had dutifully pointed out the dangers of his lover’s addiction, as any caring, sharing partner should, but the ensuing conversation was often incendiary. Or the hot topic was deftly flicked aside, like a tired fag butt.  Andrew certainly didn’t light up at the thought of not lighting up !  And so it was, with only a touch of skepticism, that Paul viewed Andrew’s latest decision to trash the ash as just that. His latest attempt.  Of course, he kept this secret pessimism from his partner,  he didn’t want the latter to become demoralised.  But inwardly, he couldn’t shake the idea that Andrew’s nicotine abstinence would soon be going up in smoke! Just another weary flash in the ash-pan.  But he definitely wouldn’t let Andrew get a whiff of any of this.  It was obviously kinder to play along, and Paul had always been very good at putting up a smokescreen when need be. Andrew could see right through his husband’s shambolic attempt at giving support . He knew Paul far too well.  Behind the earnest ‘well done babe’ and the sincere, ‘you’ve done so well’, there lay a simmering, […]

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Time For A Spexit !

My last foray into the world of blogging found me attempting to experiment with ‘ The Third Person’ – not a film starring Orson Welles, as I had previously thought, but no, that useful little vernacular that allows the writer to ‘expand his repertoire’, so to speak.  Perhaps it’s always a good idea to ensure the third person ain’t reading the repetoire  before you go to press, or one could end up feeling well and truly Citizen Caned !  Ouch! So, this morning, I am sticking well and truly to my tried and tested lexicographical path, and as it loquaciously unwinds I promise I shall not stray into further exotic linguistic ‘forests of the night’, but hold tightly to the hand of that true and trusted friend, the First Person Singular. I have woken this morning with a head as bloody as John The Baptist and a body as parched as that of Joan Of Arc.  I am irreligiously overhung ! Andrew, on the other stake, is irritatingly chipper.  He has the demeanour of Shirley Temple and the look of a manic Buzz Lightyear – in my current medieval mood I could have him hung, drawn and quartered!  Twice ! I am now being forced to listen to ‘Defying Gravity’, a merry tune from the very loud Broadway Musical, ‘Wicked’.  For the fifth time ! Mr Kennedy has taken the lead role of Elpheba, better known as ‘The Wicked Witch Of The West’, and is belting it to the back of […]

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The Last Word From A Lost World!

A Final Blog! We leave Hanoi, the frenetic Vietnamese capital, with heavy hearts and even weightier rucksacks due to the ridiculous oriental trinketry I have unwisely failed to resist! The shopping is amazing here, each twisting lane presenting a cornucopia of merchandise to lighten one’s purse and darken one’s load. I envisage some lively conversations between Mr Kennedy and I as we hit the open road with a few extra bronze Buddhas as travelling companions. Not to mention the deceptively heavy, lacquered ‘Tintin In Vietnam’ picture, which I’ve managed to […]

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The Solo Adventures Of A Forty-Something Teenage Detective!

Dong Hoi I set out from my ‘bijoux’ guest house in the small, provincial, untouristic town of Dong Hoi and headed for the incongruously psychedelic bridge which crossed the Nhat Li river. There was not a lot to see here, the town once being the main staging post for the Viet Cong during the war, it’s environs had been completely razed to the ground. The main sights being the bombed out church, preserved as yet another reminder of yet another U.S. war crime, and the bridge, an excellent example of […]

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A Bright Light In A Grey Hue.

I arrived in Hue, the former imperial capital of Vietnam, in the dark, after an arduous bus journey which inevitably took much longer than the advertised four hours! I found a small, traveller’s cafe, where the food was hot even if the local climate was not. It was cold, wet and miserable. I huddled beneath my two duvets, wearing three t-shirts, and wondered if I had made the right decision to leave Andrew in the relative comfort of Hoi An. In the morning, on entering the rooftop, Soviet style breakfast […]

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The Lola Boys Split Up!

I awoke at dawn’s crack, which to anyone who knows me well is quite unusual, whatever the connotation! I packed my trusty, happy-snappy Nikon into my rucksack and set off for the ancient city centre of Hoi An in central Vietnam.     I knew that if I were to take anything even resembling a decent picture, I would need to beat the busloads of bustling day-trippers who descend on the place each day after breakfast, turning the quaint narrow lanes into a scene akin to The Hajj in Saudi Arabia.  After all, Hoi An is a Mecca for historians, sightseers and shoppers alike, and once it’s population grows to literally a thousand times that of normal, it is most in-conducive to finding an atmospheric scene to capture. Unless that is, the photographer is after a multitude of shots featuring the multitude fencing each other with their ‘Selfie-Sticks’, parrying one another for the best angle of fisherman angling on the river. It’s a sight to behold. Fortunately, when I reached the historic part of this beautiful town, and crossed the wonderfully restored Japanese, covered bridge, I found myself  almost alone. Just me, an incredibly placid road-sweeper, and some equally chilled out dogs who were just coming round from their dreams of Pedigree Chum, or whatever it is that constitutes a canine diet in Vietnam. If it’s at all similar to their human master’s, I shudder to think!    All at once […]

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Why The Fuck Have You Brought Me Here?

Here in Da lat city, in the beautiful, south west highlands of Vietnam, we had planned to get behind one of the famous ‘Vietnameasy Riders’ and head for the hills. However, when our two bikers turned out to be what looked like an eight and a half year old boy, and a poor guy with the use of only one of his arms, I made the unilateral decision that I wasn’t comfortable putting my life in his hand ! We are both quite adventurous when it comes down to it, […]

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Two Go To Devil’s Island!

Con Son, also known as Indochina’s Devil’s Island, is the main isle of the remote archipelago of Con Dao, lurking quietly,  far out in the turquoise South China Sea, just off the coast of southern Vietnam. Today, it is mainly visited by northern Vietnamese war veterans, who had once been incarcerated here during the infamous American campaign last century. They come to pay respects to their fallen colleagues and, I imagine, in an attempt to reconcile themselves with the brutality they were forced to endure here. It was The French […]

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