The Lola Boys

A Teardrop In The Indian Ocean.

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Paul and Andrew had arrived in a country to which they had never been before, a paradisical  place which made them both feel they didn’t want to leave. Her beauty and culture held them spellbound. Her nature kept them entranced. But most of all it was her people which kept them prisoner.  The Lola Boys were now inmates on the Island of Sri Lanka. And willingly so! Surely there was nowhere on earth accommodating such an accommodating population. And Paul and Andrew had been around! The sheer joy which exuded […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

A Spring Nativity!

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You’ve still got the passports haven’t you?’ Andrew asked Paul, who was currently pushing their twenty year old Ford Focus to breaking point on the A66 somewhere in the middle of Extramadura; somewhere in the middle of Spain. ‘You had them last’ Paul retorted brusquely, already pissed off he’d done all the driving for the last ten hours! ‘I gave them to you at the last place – when you went into that hotel’ said Andrew. ‘I’m sure you didn’t’ answered Paul, taking one hand unwisely away from the steering […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

Barbra The Boa And Other Tales Of Covid.

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It had been months since Barbra the boa had last enjoyed a night out. In fact she hadn’t been given an airing from her carrier bag for months. The conditions were hot and moist, she longed to feel the sea breeze finesse her feathers in the manner to which she had become accustomed. To shed her plumage cross the beach whilst draped on a camp, melodious arm. Oh how she ached for a shimmy and the whiff of her old friend Maisie Mascara. But she knew it would be a […]

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The Lola Boys

The Lola Boys’ Great Escape!

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Paul sat in his sweaty surgical mask on the Boeing 777 Air Philippines flight wondering just how the operation was going to turn out! The aircraft was packed to the overhead lockers, there was no social distancing to be had. And to make matters worse, there had been no chance of a decent pre-med as everything in Manila airport had been closed. Including the ‘Duty Free’. The staff were too busy distributing alcoholic sanitisers to cater to satisfying alcoholics! Andrew and Paul had been on the road for hours. Well […]

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The Lola Boys

Crossing The ‘Chanel’ or Up Yours!

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Paul’s week had begun and ended in a rather similar fashion – most bizarrely. The first incident had occurred at a swanky party in Sotogrande, at which ‘The Lola Boys’ had been performing. It had been a roaring success apparently. The boys had been joined by ‘Burly Chassis,’ ‘Tina Turnoff,’ and ‘Amy Crackhouse’! It had been the first time Paul had clambered into a mini skirt and an overstuffed bra for quite a while. Secretly he found the whole dressing up thing a bit of a drag. He was getting […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 3. St Maarten. AND Day 4 – At Sea!

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Day 3. St Maarten. It was the 29th of January. The day of Paul’s sister Tina’s birth. She was forty-something and the boat docked on the Dutch side of the beautiful island of St. Maarten. The family made their way to ‘The Peninsula’ restaurant in the bowels of the ship for a birthday breakfast. It was no mean feat. The ‘Britannia’ was not easy to navigate. Whoever had designed her had made it quite impossible to go from front to back and side to side in a logical manner – […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 2. Antigua.

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When Tina was just twenty-one, she had left chilly Blighty to begin her career as an artist on the stunning island of Antigua. She had stayed for more than a year on the island turning tricks at a local pottery as many a Caribbean boy attempted to turn tricks on her. As Linda’s crew hit the island almost thirty years later not much had changed. The place was still gorgeous; the weather wonderful; the men quite insatiable! They headed away from the main crowd – always a good idea on a cruise. […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

What A Nerve! Say Aghhhhhh!

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Paul awoke groggily in the shabby, beige hotel room and for far too long remained in the nightmare he had been suffering. He was still trapped in Barcelona’s Sagrada Familia as it crumbled around him. Andrew looked on, dressed as a Cardinal, smiling devilishly, delighting in the masonry falling freely onto his parishioner. It was all terribly Catholic. Paul decided immediately to read no more Dan Brown! Although the author’s novels were admittedly page turning, their ideas could be head spinning when it came to getting any kip. Light reading […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

Doing The Hippy Gippy Shake!

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The five-hour ride through Laos was striking, but as the mini-van juddered and bounced along some of the worst roads he had ever ridden, Paul arrived in Vang Vien stricken!  Admittedly, there had been a rest stop on route, when Andrew had smoked eight cigarettes and Paul had emitted eight pints of something brown from his gullet. He thought he had done rather well, as he had managed to hold back the vomit for at least an hour and a half on the bus, no mean feat, considering as there […]

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