We Woke!

Paul woke in the Thai hostel at 6.30 am, or rather was woken at that unearthly hour by the motorway above which he and Andrew had been ‘sleeping’ for the last few days. He went to the floor below to make a coffee for Andrew, a rare occurrence as he was never normally up before his partner. Well not in the morning! As he rooted through flaxseed, linseed and milk produced from organic rice picked by a chanting virgin, he attempted to blot out the conversation coming from a small […]

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A Long-Brawl Trip!k

After a mammoth long-brawl journey involving three flights, two taxis, a rickety shuttle bus and a near emergency landing due to some old git having a panic attack at 37,000 feet, The Lola Boys arrived in Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. Neither of them felt or looked their best. In fact Paul literally had no eyes! This happened to be an irony, as had he used his irises, when he still possessed them, he may not have booked he and Andrew into the ‘VIP’ room at the ‘Iris Hostel.’ The […]

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Recognition At Last !

Paul stood in a West London branch of Tesco’s attempting to deflect the ardent admiration of a bespectacled oddball who was quite convinced that he was a member of a famous rock band. ‘It is you isn’t it?’ he said, in a clipped South African accent, whilst reaching into his pocket for the ubiquitous mobile camera phone. ‘I know who you are!’, he continued. ‘Really’, replied Paul, rather kindly, as he stretched for a Canteloupe. ‘Yes. You’re with that band. Not ‘The Stones’. The other one. Wow! Yeah! Do you […]

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They Call Me Miss Ross !

Paul closed the front door after making peace with he and Andrew’s upstairs neighbour. There had just been a slight debacle on their terrace after she had objected to Diana Ross having a diva moment at just before 10pm! Andrew had pointed out that anyone was allowed to play music until midnight! Especially when it was live from ‘Ceasar’s Palace’! However, the lady upstairs had not agreed, and it had turned all too quickly into a bilingual slagging match. Paul wondered if his neighbour was a tad racist.  The last […]

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Gay Pride!

Paul sat. He stared closely at the motorway which paraded as a promenade in a small, nearly charming town north of Malaga! He and Andrew had performed the previous night – in more ways than one ! The manager of the ‘Hotel Estacion’ (which was nowhere near a fucking station!) was most disturbed. Paul knew he could add to the squat proprietor’s malaise by telling him that the food he had served up at his tawdry establishment was what one might call – ‘mierda’! Pero – no! It was the […]

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Days 12,13 & 14. St Vincent, Grenada and Home!

At first sight St Vincent looked pretty spectacular. Majestic cliffs soared upwards from an emerald sea and pretty multicoloured rooftops studded the verdant hillsides. The guys hit the shore minus a Bill and Grace who had confined themselves to their cabins following a night watch involving a Gary Barlow tribute act and a barrel load of alcohol. Both of them felt more than a little sea-sick. Take That  and party thought Paul. Always a bad move. But that wisdom came from age. As Paul, Andrew, Tina and their mother made preparations […]

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Day 11. At Sea!

Paul had decided that on the next day at sea aboard the Britannia, instead of knocking back Mai Tais and massacring his epidermis neath nuclear fission, he would instead massacre his opponents in a few of the onboard competitions. He threw the suggestion onto the deck and the rest of the family sort of agreed to the wager. Paul said he would look  through the day’s programme when their ‘Horizon’ was delivered to the cabin and see what activities dawned upon him. Andrew even came up with a name for […]

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