Goodness Gracious Me!

We leave Bombay with heavy hearts, yet lighter wallets! The price of beer, which, sadly, is how we usually gauge the cost of living on our travels, is remarkably high. A weekly wage to some of the city’s inhabitants. That is, the lucky ones who have a wage. This hasn’t stopped us from guiltily imbibing, as we’ve sometimes needed a little spirit to lift our own. Whilst driving through the ‘Park Lane’ of the city, our delightful, yet ultimately dishonest, Uber taxi driver pointed out the house of the richest […]

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Bombay Dreams And Nightmares!

After a delay of over an hour and another nine sitting next to the portaloo on our British Airways flight to Mumbai, we had started to doubt if they really were ‘the world’s favourite’! There are only so many times one can be tangled in a Cif-scented sari before the experience begins to pall! The large Bloody Marys we’d imbibed in the airlines’posh Heathrow lounge certainly took the edge off. This, courtesy of a lovely friend who toils tirelessly on behalf of B.A. They may not be our favourite company, […]

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Steady On Mr Editor !

Andrew and I have never been the type of couple to hold hands in public, preferring instead to showcase our relationship in a lewd, camp, musical cabaret whenever we are paid to do so ! We wear our hearts on our mics rather than our sleeves. However, were we able to complete a pert pike into a very tight tuck and still come up for air, we would doubtless have behaved just as Britain’s young Olympic diving champions did this week. Criticised by a lurid British tabloid for not showing […]

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Thighs Down !

I learnt yesterday that St Nicholas, as well as knocking out a few pressies, is also the patron saint of children, sailors and prostitutes!  So it really is the season to be jolly. And to sell oneself.  Which is fortunate, as Christmas, for a performer, normally consists of plying one’s trade.  In the past this has usually meant appearing in a rather saccharine family show or slapping a thigh in pantomime. Andrew was Lily Savage’s right hand man on many occasions . They also did panto together! Andrew sporting his winter duvet! […]

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On The Trail Of Ho Chi ‘Mean’ !

A good expedition always requires careful planning – much like sex when one gets to middle age – so I’m told! So with just six weeks to go before Andrew and I pull on our back packs and front out some of the lesser known dives of South East Asia, (both marine and otherwise),  I thought it was time I planned a vague, kind-of, voyage. This route is always used as a guide, never rigid or over-itinerised. That would preclude too many accidents occuring along the way,  most of them happy. […]

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On A Wing And A Prayer.

A private function can be so uncomfortable when one’s privates are functioning! And,  tightly strapped into a pair of PVC hot pants, trapped inside a very small room,  with 29 very close audience members,  glancing, intermittently at one’s member,   it is certainly not the easiest set of circumstances under which to perform ! Nerves can go to one’s nerve ! Less said the better. Now, post our private shows, I sit, hot pants shed,  and recuperate,  as I wait for Andrew to return from his trip down the road, to visit ‘Anna Mae […]

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Under the weather!

Despite Andrew and I sensibly moving our show forward a day to miss an oncoming storm that had widely been predicted, the storm arrived late. Well, the one that was forecast. Another tempest, a mercurial moment that was not on the horizon, made itself felt instead, as temperatures rose sharply during our act and extremely high pressure dominated the scene! Andrew, who had decided to sup as much ale as Oliver Reed on an Irish stag do, decided to ‘tap’ me on the head with the microphone stand, during one […]

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Birds Of A Feather.

Back in ‘Blighty’ for the first time since spring and  Andrew and I seem to have brought the spanish  sunshine with us.   As torrential storms batter the Costa Del Sol, we have been more fortunate – basking in the warm glow of a beautiful british autumn. We are returning to our home shores for a mini UK Lola Boy tour – Seddlescombe, Hastings, London, Liverpool, Emsworth and Brighton. Beyoncé eat your heart out ! We began our trip in Battle.  That famous spot where good King Harold famously came […]

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In The City Of An Artist Of Spanish Abstraction.

The Picasso museum in Malaga was certainly interesting. Some of the old Spaniard’s work really appealed – some of it did not. To be honest, if I want to see an impossibly twisted torso with a disturbingly contorted face I only need to look at Andrew laying beside me of a morning! And I don’t have to pay ten euros for the pleasure. I once had a London agent who often told me I had a face that reminded her of a Picasso – after experiencing eleven rooms of his paintings, […]

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