The Show Must Go On !

The Lola Boys had quite often played to a spaced out crowd. But by any measure, that was usually down to the Spanish kind, measures that is, not for lack of an audience. Now with social distancing looking to be the norm into the near distance, anybody sitting too near a distance was a no no! Also any performers treading the boards had to do so at least two metres apart. What a bloody performance! Paul was worried it could be the end of theatre as they knew it. He […]

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Brighton Doesn’t Rock!

Paul gazed along the deserted promenade on Brighton seafront. There were a few sun worshippers pebbled along the beach praying metres apart to their god of choice, who repaid his loyal congregation’s faith with a show of pure brilliance. The sky was a cornflower blue and the light breeze barely perceptible. Paul had rarely visited England’s south coast under such perfect weather conditions. In normal times the place would have been crowded with day trippers and those just tripping. Awash with paddle boarders or those simply paddling. Beach lovers decked […]

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Keeping Up Our Holy Spirits!

Time had seemed to slow to that of the pace of an ancient sea turtle on the tropical island. Paul and Andrew had now been in The Philippines for over two months – far longer than they had planned. Their surroundings had grown so familiar and the company so familial, it felt as if the boys had spent years in the western Pacific. Covid 19 may have imprisoned them on the remote Camotes, but it was hardly ‘Colditz.’ Although the boys did have another great escape plan up their shorts! […]

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Last Mango In Paradise! Chapter 3.

So! The escape plan from the small Philippine island had failed miserably. Mainly due to the miserable consulate who had decided not to get in contact with Andrew and Paul, this despite the fact that the boys had handed over two grand for the privilege of an emergency repatriation flight. The plane was to fly them to Manila first, and then they were due to switch aircraft and make headway towards Heathrow. Unfortunately the plan didn’t take off! On the morning of their intended great escape, the boys headed into […]

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Last Mango In Paradise! Chapter 2.

The boys clambered up the rocky steps leading to the their last resort – the only resort which would accept credit cards -hopefully. They were both well aware if this were not the case they would be sleeping on the beach and fishing for tuna. Either that, or slaughtering one of the cows which were tethered on ‘Diva Street’, risking the wrath of the locals. Neither of them had the skills or the bent for butchering a bull, so they just prayed the place would accept visa! They just about […]

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Last Mango In Paradise. Chapter One!

Paul took the sharp corner on the exotic island a little too fast! He, as the driver, leant into it but felt his passenger balance in the opposite direction. The bike wobbled precariously and he lost control. He and Andrew then crashed, most exotically, down onto the rock-strewn asphalt, the bike coming heavily down on top of them. Luckily, they had just managed to avoid a tree that would certainly have broken more than their fall. As they lay in a mangled heap, Paul knew it weren’t great! ‘Are you […]

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From Siquijor To A Very Sick Whore!

Siquijor(pronounced – ‘sikihaw’). A mysterious island in the southern Philippines. It was to be The Lola Boys next port of call. They took the ferry from the scruffy, but friendly, port of Tagbilaran and headed on a south easterly course across the Bohol Sea, part of the western Pacific. Paul adored all this extraneous geographical information. He knew it to be pretentious but he felt it connected him with the seafaring adventurers of old – Drake, Columbus, Magellan and the like. Not to mention re-invigorating his youthful Tintin spirit. Whilst […]

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Nuts In Huts!

Andrew and Paul had waited for over an hour in searing heat on the pier at Tagbilaran, a small scruffy city on the island of Bohol in The Philippines. The taxi which Paul had ordered to collect them had not materialised. Instead, they drank the local ‘Red Horse’ beer with a bunch of local taxi drivers and did impressions of Rod Stewart. For some reason Paul had recently been getting a lot of folk telling him he looked like the Scottish rock star. He was kind of thrilled, although Rod […]

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Hashtag Him Too!

Paul and Andrew arrived in The Philippines with a bang. Literally! Their small plane hit the equally tiny runway with such force that Paul had expected the ‘Brace. Brace’ command at any second. Luckily the reverse thrust kicked into overdrive and they managed to stay on the tarmac – just. The boys had eventually arrived in Bohol. The tenth largest island in the Filipino Archipelago – far south of Manila towards the equator. Home to the Tarsier and ‘The Chocolate Hills’, plus countless typhoons and earthquakes. It had taken them twenty […]

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Don’t Say A ‘Phrae’ For Me Now – It’s Too Late!

Paul and Andrew clambered into the mini-bus in Lampang to embark on a windy journey east. Windy being in the circuitous sense and not the flatulent. Thank Buddha! For mini was definitely what the van was. It had obviously been built for day-tripping Munchkins. Or perhaps the odd Oompah-Loompah. The antiquated jalopy had certainly not been constructed with any six foot ‘falang’* in mind. Along with the discomfort of the vehicle’s bijou interior, Paul was nursing a painful urinary infection, which had been diagnosed, thankfully, by a sweet young Thai […]

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