Sodom And Pattaya!

Paul and Andrew left the ancient northern city of Chiang Mai and headed south to the incredibly popular and populous city of Pattaya on the Gulf of Thailand. On arrival, it was clear there was more than a gulf of difference between the two urban sprawls. The former retaining an element of class – the latter an abundance of brass! Paul had visited Pattaya over two decades earlier whilst performing in ’The Mikado’ on the beautiful QE2 cruise liner. There had been an element of performance too within the city. […]

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We Woke!

Paul woke in the Thai hostel at 6.30 am, or rather was woken at that unearthly hour by the motorway above which he and Andrew had been ‘sleeping’ for the last few days. He went to the floor below to make a coffee for Andrew, a rare occurrence as he was never normally up before his partner. Well not in the morning! As he rooted through flaxseed, linseed and milk produced from organic rice picked by a chanting virgin, he attempted to blot out the conversation coming from a small […]

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A Long-Brawl Trip!

After a mammoth long-brawl journey involving three flights, two taxis, a rickety shuttle bus and a near emergency landing due to some old git having a panic attack at 37,000 feet, The Lola Boys arrived in Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. Neither of them felt or looked their best. In fact Paul literally had no eyes! This happened to be an irony, as had he used his irises, when he still possessed them, he may not have booked he and Andrew into the ‘VIP’ room at the ‘Iris Hostel.’ The […]

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Recognition At Last !

Paul stood in a West London branch of Tesco’s attempting to deflect the ardent admiration of a bespectacled oddball who was quite convinced that he was a member of a famous rock band. ‘It is you isn’t it?’ he said, in a clipped South African accent, whilst reaching into his pocket for the ubiquitous mobile camera phone. ‘I know who you are!’, he continued. ‘Really’, replied Paul, rather kindly, as he stretched for a Canteloupe. ‘Yes. You’re with that band. Not ‘The Stones’. The other one. Wow! Yeah! Do you […]

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Day 10. Aruba.

Now as they were closer to the equator, Paul and his motley crew were feeling terribly tropical. They’d fallen in love with their vessel and were always happy to get back aboard after a trip ashore. Paul’s mother had described her as ‘home’. At the close of play in the Margarita-infused capital of Oranjestad however, she nearly didn’t make it home! Shortly after docking in Aruba Linda, Tina, Bill and Grace took the local bus to the beach, whilst Uncles Paul and Andy opted for a sedate walk about town. […]

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Day 9. Bonaire.

The flat little island of Bonaire proved to be a delightful surprise. The touting and conning ubiquitous to most of the ports so far was obviously in evidence. The family was quoted the price of a small car to take a tour of the tiny island and less than politely refused. They were alive to the rip off merchants and tore into them for their unjustified behaviour – Andrew especially. Telling one taxi driver he could buy his car a new engine for the price he’d quoted to take them […]

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Day 7. Barbados & Day 8. At Sea.

Paul woke in his cabin after a hilarious dream in which Gracie had been thrown off the ‘Brittania’ due to her revealing outfits. Hordes of disgruntled pensioners cheered her as she was made to walk the plank in a minuscule yellow bikini. She wasn’t at all bothered. She walked with dignity giving a stylish finger to the jeering crowd. Paul imagined the dream had something to do with the reception he’d received the previous day in Bridgetown. But wasn’t sure – he was no Carl Jung. He made a note […]

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