Just A Small Dose Of Koh Samet!

The Lola Boys had decided to head back to the north of Thailand. Not because they were remotely scared of the irritating new virus that seemed to have infected everyone with fear, but because they were looking for somewhere more remote. Plus they had left a rucksack full of toiletries at a small guest house in Chiang Mai and Paul was missing his conditioner and a couple of face masks. Not the viral kind. In fact the whole ‘masking up’ business was beginning to pall Paul. The only facewear he’d […]

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Going Viral – Hopefully Not!

Koh Samet, a small island set in the Gulf of Thailand, was a famous weekend spot for well to do Bangkokians, it was a wonderful escape from the madness of Pattaya. Apparently it had been founded by a band of notorious pirates who had buried their treasure neath it’s silken sands. Paul and Andrew had been on the peaceful island for a few days, now thoroughly chilled, and staying at a boarding house belonging to the very friendly Miss Hong. Each morning Miss Hong had greeted them with amusement, laughing […]

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Sodom And Pattaya!

Paul and Andrew left the ancient northern city of Chiang Mai and headed south to the incredibly popular and populous city of Pattaya on the Gulf of Thailand. On arrival, it was clear there was more than a gulf of difference between the two urban sprawls. The former retaining an element of class – the latter an abundance of brass! Paul had visited Pattaya over two decades earlier whilst performing in ’The Mikado’ on the beautiful QE2 cruise liner. There had been an element of performance too within the city. […]

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A Long-Brawl Trip!

After a mammoth long-brawl journey involving three flights, two taxis, a rickety shuttle bus and a near emergency landing due to some old git having a panic attack at 37,000 feet, The Lola Boys arrived in Chiang Mai in northern Thailand. Neither of them felt or looked their best. In fact Paul literally had no eyes! This happened to be an irony, as had he used his irises, when he still possessed them, he may not have booked he and Andrew into the ‘VIP’ room at the ‘Iris Hostel.’ The […]

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Recognition At Last !

Paul stood in a West London branch of Tesco’s attempting to deflect the ardent admiration of a bespectacled oddball who was quite convinced that he was a member of a famous rock band. ‘It is you isn’t it?’ he said, in a clipped South African accent, whilst reaching into his pocket for the ubiquitous mobile camera phone. ‘I know who you are!’, he continued. ‘Really’, replied Paul, rather kindly, as he stretched for a Canteloupe. ‘Yes. You’re with that band. Not ‘The Stones’. The other one. Wow! Yeah! Do you […]

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They Call Me Miss Ross !

Paul closed the front door after making peace with he and Andrew’s upstairs neighbour. There had just been a slight debacle on their terrace after she had objected to Diana Ross having a diva moment at just before 10pm! Andrew had pointed out that anyone was allowed to play music until midnight! Especially when it was live from ‘Ceasar’s Palace’! However, the lady upstairs had not agreed, and it had turned all too quickly into a bilingual slagging match. Paul wondered if his neighbour was a tad racist.  The last […]

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Gay Pride!

Paul sat. He stared closely at the motorway which paraded as a promenade in a small, nearly charming town north of Malaga! He and Andrew had performed the previous night – in more ways than one ! The manager of the ‘Hotel Estacion’ (which was nowhere near a fucking station!) was most disturbed. Paul knew he could add to the squat proprietor’s malaise by telling him that the food he had served up at his tawdry establishment was what one might call – ‘mierda’! Pero – no! It was the […]

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Days 12,13 & 14. St Vincent, Grenada and Home!

At first sight St Vincent looked pretty spectacular. Majestic cliffs soared upwards from an emerald sea and pretty multicoloured rooftops studded the verdant hillsides. The guys hit the shore minus a Bill and Grace who had confined themselves to their cabins following a night watch involving a Gary Barlow tribute act and a barrel load of alcohol. Both of them felt more than a little sea-sick. Take That  and party thought Paul. Always a bad move. But that wisdom came from age. As Paul, Andrew, Tina and their mother made preparations […]

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Day 11. At Sea!

Paul had decided that on the next day at sea aboard the Britannia, instead of knocking back Mai Tais and massacring his epidermis neath nuclear fission, he would instead massacre his opponents in a few of the onboard competitions. He threw the suggestion onto the deck and the rest of the family sort of agreed to the wager. Paul said he would look  through the day’s programme when their ‘Horizon’ was delivered to the cabin and see what activities dawned upon him. Andrew even came up with a name for […]

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Day 9. Bonaire.

The flat little island of Bonaire proved to be a delightful surprise. The touting and conning ubiquitous to most of the ports so far was obviously in evidence. The family was quoted the price of a small car to take a tour of the tiny island and less than politely refused. They were alive to the rip off merchants and tore into them for their unjustified behaviour – Andrew especially. Telling one taxi driver he could buy his car a new engine for the price he’d quoted to take them […]

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