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Last Mango In Paradise! Chapter 2.

The boys clambered up the rocky steps leading to the their last resort – the only resort which would accept credit cards -hopefully. They were both well aware if this were not the case they would be sleeping on the beach and fishing for tuna. Either that, or slaughtering one of the cows which were tethered on ‘Diva Street’, risking the wrath of the locals. Neither of them had the skills or the bent for butchering a bull, so they just prayed the place would accept visa! They just about […]

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Last Mango In Paradise. Chapter One!

Paul took the sharp corner on the exotic island a little too fast! He, as the driver, leant into it but felt his passenger balance in the opposite direction. The bike wobbled precariously and he lost control. He and Andrew then crashed, most exotically, down onto the rock-strewn asphalt, the bike coming heavily down on top of them. Luckily, they had just managed to avoid a tree that would certainly have broken more than their fall. As they lay in a mangled heap, Paul knew it weren’t great! ‘Are you […]

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That Damn Virus!

At a time when the world was heading into uncharted territory, Paul and Andrew were doing the same, and heading deeper into a part of the great globe to which they had never been. They were sailing to the remote Camotes Islands, a small archipelago in the western Pacific making up part of the Philippines. They left the insalubrious, yet friendly, Cebu City and cruised past the island on which Ferdinand Magellan was killed in the 17th century. Murdered by an angry chief obviously most unhappy with the Spaniard’s new […]

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From Siquijor To A Very Sick Whore!

Siquijor(pronounced – ‘sikihaw’). A mysterious island in the southern Philippines. It was to be The Lola Boys next port of call. They took the ferry from the scruffy, but friendly, port of Tagbilaran and headed on a south easterly course across the Bohol Sea, part of the western Pacific. Paul adored all this extraneous geographical information. He knew it to be pretentious but he felt it connected him with the seafaring adventurers of old – Drake, Columbus, Magellan and the like. Not to mention re-invigorating his youthful Tintin spirit. Whilst […]

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Nuts In Huts!

Andrew and Paul had waited for over an hour in searing heat on the pier at Tagbilaran, a small scruffy city on the island of Bohol in The Philippines. The taxi which Paul had ordered to collect them had not materialised. Instead, they drank the local ‘Red Horse’ beer with a bunch of local taxi drivers and did impressions of Rod Stewart. For some reason Paul had recently been getting a lot of folk telling him he looked like the Scottish rock star. He was kind of thrilled, although Rod […]

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Hashtag Him Too!

Paul and Andrew arrived in The Philippines with a bang. Literally! Their small plane hit the equally tiny runway with such force that Paul had expected the ‘Brace. Brace’ command at any second. Luckily the reverse thrust kicked into overdrive and they managed to stay on the tarmac – just. The boys had eventually arrived in Bohol. The tenth largest island in the Filipino Archipelago – far south of Manila towards the equator. Home to the Tarsier and ‘The Chocolate Hills’, plus countless typhoons and earthquakes. It had taken them twenty […]

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A Special Nan!

Paul and Andrew had made there way further east, they were now residing in the small city of Nan, on the Thai/Laos border. It was an unfashionable town. Not currently on many a traveller’s itinerary – other than the odd Thai or two who visited her odd temples. This made the settlement even more likeable and he and Andrew had only been there a day, when they’d both decided they loved the place. ‘How d’you spell it?’, Andrew had asked Paul for the umpteenth time. ‘ NAN!’ Paul snapped impatiently, ‘Think […]

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Don’t Say A ‘Phrae’ For Me Now – It’s Too Late!

Paul and Andrew clambered into the mini-bus in Lampang to embark on a windy journey east. Windy being in the circuitous sense and not the flatulent. Thank Buddha! For mini was definitely what the van was. It had obviously been built for day-tripping Munchkins. Or perhaps the odd Oompah-Loompah. The antiquated jalopy had certainly not been constructed with any six foot ‘falang’* in mind. Along with the discomfort of the vehicle’s bijou interior, Paul was nursing a painful urinary infection, which had been diagnosed, thankfully, by a sweet young Thai […]

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Lampang – The Beautifully Cursed City!

As Paul headed towards the lavatory on the plane, taking he and Andrew to the north of Thailand, all he could see was a sea of paranoid eyes. Everyone on the aircraft was covered up, as if attending a masquerade ball. Other than he and Andrew. They had just left from a provincial airport to which the Thai nationals just evacuated from the virus -hit city of Wuhan were just about to arrive. The boys had had to pick their way through cameramen and press past an army of reporters […]

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Just A Small Dose Of Koh Samet!

The Lola Boys had decided to head back to the north of Thailand. Not because they were remotely scared of the irritating new virus that seemed to have infected everyone with fear, but because they were looking for somewhere more remote. Plus they had left a rucksack full of toiletries at a small guest house in Chiang Mai and Paul was missing his conditioner and a couple of face masks. Not the viral kind. In fact the whole ‘masking up’ business was beginning to pall Paul. The only facewear he’d […]

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