A young German lad, Helmet ( is that correct?) has been giving us advice on what to eat in Thailand, how to behave, dress, communicate and how to survive Bangkok! We listened, more than patiently, for at least seven minutes until he went on to inform us it was his first time in the country, that he’d arrived just the day before and had not yet been to the capital! He went on to offer us tips on how to live our lives correctly and how disgusting it is that the world is being ruined through ‘genital’ engineering! He then told us he had just left high school and was 18! Andrew immediately left for a ciggie and I went back to my flower arranging. Any thoughts of doing any genital engineering with him flew straight out of the window. He was definitely a helmet we had no use for!
After my hideous Russian experience, Andrew and I made our way through Chinatown to the riverbank. There I met a monk in need of spiritual guidance, and, having consumed more spirits then most, I felt I was the perfect candidate to advise. Sadly he would not listen – and insisted pink and orange robes can be worn together, especially if your a novice Buddhist monk! There’s non- judgement for you! Or rather – no judgement! His demeanour, however, was both charming and enviable. I may have to join a monastery on the morrow ……… As long as I can teem my pink robe with a little black hem. Otherwise what would Lola say?……..
Well, after a cab ride that made Lewis Hamilton look slow, weaving and speeding causing skid-marks everywhere – even on the road – we got to our plane. A smart ‘AirAsia’ jet emblazoned with the slogan ‘Everybody Can Fly’ – they were correct, at least this time. There were a few bumps which caused some of the Chinese passengers a little turbulence but we, however, were perfectly calm. Perhaps the traditional aviational cocktail of Gin and Valium had a little to do with that! Suffice to say we landed. We are now holed-up in a small very friendly guest house in the heart of the historic city of Chiang Mai Rai. Friendly that is, apart from the group of gruff Muscovites who have just given me the filthiest look since I used up all of Andrew’s hair wax once! Still who wants to make friends with people in gold stillies and green hotpants ? And that’s just the fellas! To be continued……
The shorts and Paul are taking a well earned rest before hitting the town – ‘Ouch’ Nang’ – The Blackpool of Southern Thailand! ‘Kiss Me Quick’ or rather, ‘Kiss Me Longtime!’ No thanks! Off to the north tomorrow
To begin at the beginning ( if you’ll forgive me poaching the immortal words of Dylan Thomas) – we arrived in the bible-black night of tropical Thailand just under a week ago to begin our Oriental adventure. After Christmas and New Year celebrating with our wonderful family we’re now going it alone. Wish us luck as we head up to The Golden Triangle to find the ‘real’ South -East Asia. What’s more after a chance meeting with a lovely young traveller named James we now know how to blog! So watch out – sharpening-up the IPad fingers to give you a nearly full account of what The Lola Boys did next…. Let’s hope it works – or we may have to give James a smack! X