The Lola Boys

Recognition At Last !

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Paul stood in a West London branch of Tesco’s attempting to deflect the ardent admiration of a bespectacled oddball who was quite convinced that he was a member of a famous rock band. ‘It is you isn’t it?’ he said, in a clipped South African accent, whilst reaching into his pocket for the ubiquitous mobile camera phone. ‘I know who you are!’, he continued. ‘Really’, replied Paul, rather kindly, as he stretched for a Canteloupe. ‘Yes. You’re with that band. Not ‘The Stones’. The other one. Wow! Yeah! Do you […]

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The Lola Boys

They Call Me Miss Ross !

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Paul closed the front door after making peace with he and Andrew’s upstairs neighbour. There had just been a slight debacle on their terrace after she had objected to Diana Ross having a diva moment at just before 10pm! Andrew had pointed out that anyone was allowed to play music until midnight! Especially when it was live from ‘Ceasar’s Palace’! However, the lady upstairs had not agreed, and it had turned all too quickly into a bilingual slagging match. Paul wondered if his neighbour was a tad racist.  The last […]

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The Lola Boys

Gay Pride!

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Paul sat. He stared closely at the motorway which paraded as a promenade in a small, nearly charming town north of Malaga! He and Andrew had performed the previous night – in more ways than one ! The manager of the ‘Hotel Estacion’ (which was nowhere near a fucking station!) was most disturbed. Paul knew he could add to the squat proprietor’s malaise by telling him that the food he had served up at his tawdry establishment was what one might call – ‘mierda’! Pero – no! It was the […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Days 12,13 & 14. St Vincent, Grenada and Home!

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At first sight St Vincent looked pretty spectacular. Majestic cliffs soared upwards from an emerald sea and pretty multicoloured rooftops studded the verdant hillsides. The guys hit the shore minus a Bill and Grace who had confined themselves to their cabins following a night watch involving a Gary Barlow tribute act and a barrel load of alcohol. Both of them felt more than a little sea-sick. Take That  and party thought Paul. Always a bad move. But that wisdom came from age. As Paul, Andrew, Tina and their mother made preparations […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 11. At Sea!

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Paul had decided that on the next day at sea aboard the Britannia, instead of knocking back Mai Tais and massacring his epidermis neath nuclear fission, he would instead massacre his opponents in a few of the onboard competitions. He threw the suggestion onto the deck and the rest of the family sort of agreed to the wager. Paul said he would look  through the day’s programme when their ‘Horizon’ was delivered to the cabin and see what activities dawned upon him. Andrew even came up with a name for […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 10. Aruba.

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Now as they were closer to the equator, Paul and his motley crew were feeling terribly tropical. They’d fallen in love with their vessel and were always happy to get back aboard after a trip ashore. Paul’s mother had described her as ‘home’. At the close of play in the Margarita-infused capital of Oranjestad however, she nearly didn’t make it home! Shortly after docking in Aruba Linda, Tina, Bill and Grace took the local bus to the beach, whilst Uncles Paul and Andy opted for a sedate walk about town. […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 9. Bonaire.

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The flat little island of Bonaire proved to be a delightful surprise. The touting and conning ubiquitous to most of the ports so far was obviously in evidence. The family was quoted the price of a small car to take a tour of the tiny island and less than politely refused. They were alive to the rip off merchants and tore into them for their unjustified behaviour – Andrew especially. Telling one taxi driver he could buy his car a new engine for the price he’d quoted to take them […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 7. Barbados & Day 8. At Sea.

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Paul woke in his cabin after a hilarious dream in which Gracie had been thrown off the ‘Brittania’ due to her revealing outfits. Hordes of disgruntled pensioners cheered her as she was made to walk the plank in a minuscule yellow bikini. She wasn’t at all bothered. She walked with dignity giving a stylish finger to the jeering crowd. Paul imagined the dream had something to do with the reception he’d received the previous day in Bridgetown. But wasn’t sure – he was no Carl Jung. He made a note […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 6. Barbados!

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Paul’s mother, Linda Thrussell, had been born exactly 70 years ago on the 1st February 1949, in the London borough of East Sheen. She had met Paul and Tina’s father, Raymond, on a caravan park in the exotic Essex resort of Jaywick Sands. From there she set sail on stormy seas on a journey that was to last nearly thirty years. T’was called being married to Ray! Paul and Tina’s father had possessed great charm but had not been the easiest of men. Perhaps being diagnosed as a having bipolar […]

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Cruising With The Lola Boys!

Day 5. Dominica

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As the ship sailed towards the rugged island of Dominica, Paul stood on his balcony keeping watch and marvelled at the ‘King Kong’ landscape which revealed itself as the ship got closer. Apparently, as a way of describing the island’s formidable topography, Christopher Columbus had crumpled a piece of paper in his hands and tossed it onto the King of Spain’s table. As Paul gazed at the spectacular geography before him he wondered if this old anecdote might actually be true. He even imagined a pterodactyl might swoop along the […]

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