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The Lola Boys

Grey Daze!

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Paul sat on the rented teal sofa and smoothed out the vacant velveteen cushion adjacent to him. He looked across to the grey bucket chair that had never once featured in his grey matter as part of his bucket list, and sighed.  The offensive four legged creature sat glaring at him from the opposite corner of the lounge in the most austere fashion. Even with the faux seventies cushion Paul had pretentiously thrown in to break the psychiatric waiting room look, the seat still appeared disapproving . Daring him to explain why he had rented her instead of purchasing her outright.   Hadn’t he worked hard enough?   Hadn’t he saved his pennies?   I’ve actually done both of those Paul heard himself explaining, astonished he was fashioning hard talk with a soft furnishing. He had no idea why he, or his partner, should be renting furniture which was bullying them.  Even the temporary sideboard had sidled up with a condescending attitude of don’t touch me – all highly veneered and marble topped!  Unfortunately the topping had been cracked on delivery.  Paul had fortunately noticed the damage and so at least there was a discount. There really was absolutely no need for the cabinet to be so uppity – it was after all a second, and due for a re-shuffle.  Still – Paul sat unsettled on the rented settee. And mused, whilst muse-less. The houseplants, thank God, were borrowed.  As […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

Oh – The Greek Life!

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Paul sat in the shade  of a wafting Tamarisk spared from the hot pale sand of the Greek beach and watched the ferries come and leave in the distance.  He found it mesmerising to spectate as travellers came  and went as he sat still.  Not yet having to move.  Having the audacity to stay for longer than an island hopper – or the good sense. Or perhaps the good fortune. Whatever – he felt lucky that his odyssey in the Cyclades Islands did not have to be as fleet as […]

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The Lola Boys

A Teardrop In The Indian Ocean.

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Paul and Andrew had arrived in a country to which they had never been before, a paradisical  place which made them both feel they didn’t want to leave. Her beauty and culture held them spellbound. Her nature kept them entranced. But most of all it was her people which kept them prisoner.  The Lola Boys were now inmates on the Island of Sri Lanka. And willingly so! Surely there was nowhere on earth accommodating such an accommodating population. And Paul and Andrew had been around! The sheer joy which exuded […]

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The Lola Boys

Getting Kandie Caned!

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The Lola Boys said farewell to Negombo with heavy hearts – and even heavier heads.  They had certainly made some new friends via Andy, an old mate who had once booked them for a few gigs in Gibraltar.  He had got them acquainted to locals of every kind.  Wineshops, women and song.  A marvellous part of the delightful company to whom they’d been introduced was Jason – or rather, ‘Kandie’, Negombo’s resident drag queen. Paul and Andrew were all too aware that fellow performers could sometimes be less than generous […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

Cluck Off!

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Paul had witnessed a few birds in the bush before but had never espied a chicken up a mango tree avoiding cock! He knew it to be one of those odd things one comes across when travelling in South Asia. The sub continent never disappointed.  He and Andrew had once seen an unfortunate man’s brains frying steadily on a scorching highway after an accident their vehicle had narrowly avoided – but that was an altogether darker scene.  The avian antics now unfolding  before him were far more comic. He chuckled as he watched the harried chuck cling on to an unripe fruit for dear life whilst the desperate clucker beneath stalked her mercilessly, egging her on to descend so that he could do much the same.  Only on her!  They were quite the lovebirds. Paul turned to his partner and asked what type of chicken it was.  He usually hated the creatures finding them preferable in a bowl to them scrabbling around his ankles with their putrid dinosaur feet.  However, this little bird possessed feathered bloomers which stylishly disguised the normal nasty talons – and a feathered hat. She was almost charming. Almost ‘Chanel’. Andrew had no idea. ‘But you know about birds’,  Paul quacked, ‘ that was one of the first things that impressed me about you.’ ‘Only cos I read an ornithology of garden bloody birds when I was eleven!’ Andrew retorted. ‘I never professed to be an […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

Two Pricks In Brighton!

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Paul was still waiting to be pricked for a second time, not a situation he found himself in that often, but he knew until the pop up vaccination unit came again he was not safe. Not entirely. The damned ‘Delta’ variant had truly burst it’s banks and in Brighton there was a veritable flood of infections incurring. He did not want to be paranoid, yet he also wanted to start working again as soon as possible. It had been a year and a half now since the damned virus had […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

Ferry Cross The Biscay

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The infamous Bay Of Biscay, which was so often a turbulent grey soup, turned out to be a placid  aquamarine mill pond. As blue as the Carribean sea and with an air temperature to match.  On deck of the Brittany ferry Galicia, Paul  looked towards the picturesque and ever diminishing port of Santander and wiped away a maudlin tear.  He blamed it on the cheap lager, but he knew deep down that he was just very bad at Adios. Goodbyes to him had never come easy. It was an over […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

The Second Coming!

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Paul sat in the verdant garden of an old Cantabrian house which had obviously been transformed into a knocking shop for middle ranking coppers and dodgy MPs. As he watched Andrew smoke a cigarette he took a long, deep breath.   In.  Pause.  And then out.  Just as he’d read how to do in the countless self-help books he’d read and re-read over countless unhelpful years.  It made absolutely no difference. He was still pissed off after being snubbed by a couple in white linen, quite obviously unmarried, who had both sneered at his apparel whilst conducting an insidious affair over a bowl of green olives. They’d not even given him a nod as he bade them Buenos Tardes, both far too busy betraying their kids and their partners and whispering their sweet somethings.  Nothing! Not even a slight smile. Paul didn’t care.  Much!  After all, he had  just driven nearly halfway across Spain, lost he and Andrew’s passports,(allegedly!), driven back the other way, sorted the emergency travel documents which were now needed and then raced back across The Iberian Peninsula.  Carmen and Carlos conducting their sordid little liaison behind a Mimosa, minus manners, were certainly not going to prove the proverbial last straw that broke his donkey’s back. Paul was far too determined to get back to Blighty without any more hitches – so any rudeness from some unhitched blighters was easy to ignore. Besides, he and Andrew’s journey […]

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The Lola Boy's Blog

A Spring Nativity!

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You’ve still got the passports haven’t you?’ Andrew asked Paul, who was currently pushing their twenty year old Ford Focus to breaking point on the A66 somewhere in the middle of Extramadura; somewhere in the middle of Spain. ‘You had them last’ Paul retorted brusquely, already pissed off he’d done all the driving for the last ten hours! ‘I gave them to you at the last place – when you went into that hotel’ said Andrew. ‘I’m sure you didn’t’ answered Paul, taking one hand unwisely away from the steering […]

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