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Treading The Boards!

Paul had played the end of the pier before but had never stayed on one – so he and Andrew’s sojourn on a dilapidated jetty in the rather gaudy Thai Gulf town of Hua Hin was to be a premiere occasion.  Andrew had obviously worked a pier or two too.   Professionally as well! He’d had a high time at sea whilst dressing a couple of superannuated drag queens and a young Letitia Dean. (Pre the inflationary period we are all now suffering.)  Paul had also spent many a year admiring Brighton’s […]

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Back In Bangkok!

Bangkok The lady of the night sauntered through the blistering day, her mammoth cleavage sparkling with golden glitter and glinting artfully and quite artificially in the harsh midday sun.  She bounced slowly past the beer sodden balcony, on which Paul and Andrew had just found some respite from that fireball overhead, her stilettoes singing sharply on the concrete as her denim shorts rode higher with each stride.  Paul thought she looked marvellous. She had poise.  Class. Had he been born female he had no doubt he would have gone for a similar look.  The tart with no heart!   Common yet uncommon. In fact there had been occasions he’d worn such attire – but he chose not to think about them, for now he was in traveller mode.  Butch and adventurous.  There was no way he’d be slipping into a pair of high heels anytime soon, unless, of course, some high heel paid him an awful lot of money! Anyone could take six inches for the right price! A small old woman with just a few teeth approached them.  She offered Paul a green  orange, obviously with some payment in mind.  Paul felt a pang of condescending sympathy as he looked at her threadbare, once pink blouse and worn knees and so offered up what change he had.  He then watched in amazed amusement as the peddlar peeled the fruit very slowly and then ate it piece by piece herself […]

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Under The Influence. (And the flightpath!)

The early morning British Airways flight from London to Brussels shook the victorian sash window and Paul sprouted from his reverie feeling quite green.  He wondered what the house’s original occupants would have made of the giant metal bird in the sky disturbing their sleep path. They surely would have bolted from their bed,  bloomers adrift, battling with the bedpan in the process, and berated the noisy blighter for blighting their reverie. Perhaps not.   They were, after all, rather practical folk in old Blighty during that most industrious of […]

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Grey Daze!

Paul sat on the rented teal sofa and smoothed out the vacant velveteen cushion adjacent to him. He looked across to the grey bucket chair that had never once featured in his grey matter as part of his bucket list, and sighed.  The offensive four legged creature sat glaring at him from the opposite corner of the lounge in the most austere fashion. Even with the faux seventies cushion Paul had pretentiously thrown in to break the psychiatric waiting room look, the seat still appeared disapproving . Daring him to explain why he had rented her instead of purchasing her outright.   Hadn’t he worked hard enough?   Hadn’t he saved his pennies?   I’ve actually done both of those Paul heard himself explaining, astonished he was fashioning hard talk with a soft furnishing. He had no idea why he, or his partner, should be renting furniture which was bullying them.  Even the temporary sideboard had sidled up with a condescending attitude of don’t touch me – all highly veneered and marble topped!  Unfortunately the topping had been cracked on delivery.  Paul had fortunately noticed the damage and so at least there was a discount. There really was absolutely no need for the cabinet to be so uppity – it was after all a second, and due for a re-shuffle.  Still – Paul sat unsettled on the rented settee. And mused, whilst muse-less. The houseplants, thank God, were borrowed.  As […]

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Oh – The Greek Life!

Paul sat in the shade  of a wafting Tamarisk spared from the hot pale sand of the Greek beach and watched the ferries come and leave in the distance.  He found it mesmerising to spectate as travellers came  and went as he sat still.  Not yet having to move.  Having the audacity to stay for longer than an island hopper – or the good sense. Or perhaps the good fortune. Whatever – he felt lucky that his odyssey in the Cyclades Islands did not have to be as fleet as […]

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A Teardrop In The Indian Ocean.

Paul and Andrew had arrived in a country to which they had never been before, a paradisical  place which made them both feel they didn’t want to leave. Her beauty and culture held them spellbound. Her nature kept them entranced. But most of all it was her people which kept them prisoner.  The Lola Boys were now inmates on the Island of Sri Lanka. And willingly so! Surely there was nowhere on earth accommodating such an accommodating population. And Paul and Andrew had been around! The sheer joy which exuded […]

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Getting Kandie Caned!

The Lola Boys said farewell to Negombo with heavy hearts – and even heavier heads.  They had certainly made some new friends via Andy, an old mate who had once booked them for a few gigs in Gibraltar.  He had got them acquainted to locals of every kind.  Wineshops, women and song.  A marvellous part of the delightful company to whom they’d been introduced was Jason – or rather, ‘Kandie’, Negombo’s resident drag queen. Paul and Andrew were all too aware that fellow performers could sometimes be less than generous […]

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Cluck Off!

Paul had witnessed a few birds in the bush before but had never espied a chicken up a mango tree avoiding cock! He knew it to be one of those odd things one comes across when travelling in South Asia. The sub continent never disappointed.  He and Andrew had once seen an unfortunate man’s brains frying steadily on a scorching highway after an accident their vehicle had narrowly avoided – but that was an altogether darker scene.  The avian antics now unfolding  before him were far more comic. He chuckled as he watched the harried chuck cling on to an unripe fruit for dear life whilst the desperate clucker beneath stalked her mercilessly, egging her on to descend so that he could do much the same.  Only on her!  They were quite the lovebirds. Paul turned to his partner and asked what type of chicken it was.  He usually hated the creatures finding them preferable in a bowl to them scrabbling around his ankles with their putrid dinosaur feet.  However, this little bird possessed feathered bloomers which stylishly disguised the normal nasty talons – and a feathered hat. She was almost charming. Almost ‘Chanel’. Andrew had no idea. ‘But you know about birds’,  Paul quacked, ‘ that was one of the first things that impressed me about you.’ ‘Only cos I read an ornithology of garden bloody birds when I was eleven!’ Andrew retorted. ‘I never professed to be an […]

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Two Pricks In Brighton!

Paul was still waiting to be pricked for a second time, not a situation he found himself in that often, but he knew until the pop up vaccination unit came again he was not safe. Not entirely. The damned ‘Delta’ variant had truly burst it’s banks and in Brighton there was a veritable flood of infections incurring. He did not want to be paranoid, yet he also wanted to start working again as soon as possible. It had been a year and a half now since the damned virus had […]

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